Maybe I think to much sometime

I just went *hummm* and my mate asked me what was up?  I could not find a way to simply explain to him what is up.

Maybe I am just tired.  Or maybe I was just not expecting so many of the pieces falling into place at te same time and now I am overwhelmed.

I am not that sick anymore so i am able to actually enjoy life and do something instead of lying in bed, weak.  I am going back to work actually gradually as of the end of next week.  I figured out that if instead of waiting for july 2007 to live the Simple Living, I could just start NOW living a healthier life that brings me more joy and energy.  I did some reflexion last night, a preparation actually for my next shamanic quest and the question came to me: why not have the live a want NOW instead of preparing for it for in july and hoping to not lose my mind and health once more in the meantime.  I discussed that with my mate last night and he agreed that it could actually be good.  I thought that maybe also I could actually continue working where I am at, but since I would have introduce good, healthy, energy making habuts in my life, I would not be drained anymore by it, It would not matter.  And well, the money would actually be put aside, still, since as for NOW I intend to live the Simple Living.  I would get rid of all my debts, including a student loan, I would eat better, relax better, see more people instead of getting home wanting to cry because I hate my life and want to die. I am thinking of many things:  the mountain drum circle in the summer, the polyamorous lifestyle, belly dancing and the goddess in me.  Wanting to pose nude, wanting to feel good, creating, etc.

I really think I might be overwhelmed by things getting in place and things making sense.